The previous comic stirred a little controversy, so I decided to go with a safer topic this time – abortion!
Credit for this lovely pro-abortion argument belongs entirely to my good friend Mark. So if you’re really offended by this comic, just e-mail me and I’ll be happy to let you know where Mark lives.
The last one was just silly; this one’s awesome.
Thanks! I do what I can.
would have been more awesome/horrid if jesus was holding a coat hanger
Well, I am trying to run a respectable comic here.
My fundaquentilist point actually goes a bit deeper than this, and it’s important–for you, for the world–to follow my reasoning and see where it goes. “Maximizing heavenly entry” isn’t the only principle of fundaquentilism; “minimizing hellish entry” should be considered at least as important. So right off the bat, we can see that Jesus not only likes abortion; He *demands* it.
In fact, my website, killbabiesforjesus.com, explains in detail exactly why we have to kill *every* child before they the time they reach the age of choice, at which point their immortal souls are in danger of the gates of hell.
But we must be unafraid, and press further. A survey of human religion indicates that only a minority are Christian, and of that minority, how many have truly said the proper incantation that makes Jesus clean the stain of sins from their hearts? 30 percent? 40 percent? Scientists at the Kill Babies For Jesus Institution indicate the number could be as low as 20 percent! So even the overwhelming majority of “Christians” will end up in Hell. Net loss for the universe, right?
From this fundaquentialist perspective, we can plainly see that the entire story of human history, from the Crucifixion on, has been one great Satanic production line: countless billions being born, only to reach the age of choice, decide incorrectly about which god to worship, and then, upon death, be quickly engulfed by the flames, for all eternity, while only a sliver of a fraction is allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven, where they can bask in God’s perfect justice, all glory to His name.
My friends, Satan’s profit must be stopped. For more information on how you can help me to stop it, please visit my new website, destroyallhumansforchrist.com.
Chaospet, I thank you for shining the light of wisdom onto the world.
“Mark”
^^Broken link ^^
man… killbabiesforjesus.com isn’t even a real website
but ummm…. yeah, that’s awesome
I am half-tempted to register that domain and put a site up…
If you do it I’ll give you my unborn children.
Wait a tic… I thought unbaptized babies stayed forever in limbo… or maybe that’s just what Dante wanted us to believe.
Limbo? Dante?!
For Christ’s sake, you people are treating this like it’s some big fucking joke! C’mon, assholes–read your goddamned *Bibles*! Don’t mock the obvious entailments of Scripture just because they make you feel uncomfortable.
*Sigh*
Now I know how Peter Singer must feel.
Yeah, even the Catholics don’t really believe in Limbo anymore.
Oh, well forgive me for not keeping up with the Catholic dogma… and I’m sure at his age, ol’ Pete probably feels kinda wrinkly and thin skinned.
yo…
wonderful…
Until recently, Catholic dogma held that the unbaptized went to Purgatory, not heaven, on account of being unbaptized. Now, it’s even worse–they do in fact go to hell.
Sorry to rain on the parade.
What I wonder about is how any non-deity can claim to have any authority to answer the meaningless question of “what happens to the souls of dead unbaptized infants”. And also, what the hell happened to them before this decision?
None of it makes any sense.
You know, I remember making this exact same arguement to so pro-lifers. I believe that there response was that Obama wants to dropkick babies into the trashcan.
Keep up the good work.
So…points from an avid Catholic:
1) I got to this site from your advertisement (on http://www.isitfunnnytoday.com) about the two choices. Awesome.
2) Despite how much I abhore abortion, I’m not so closed minded that I don’t find this comic funny. The form of the argument is, in fact, hilarious.
3) I appreciate the link to a legitimate Catholic website (CNS) when explaining Limbo. That was much appreciated. I like it when valid criticism is based on actual Catholic beliefs, not perceived Catholic beliefs.
4) Tanzmetall, Purgatory is a time of temporary sanctification in preparation for Heaven, so everyone that goes to Purgatory eventually goes to Heaven. Your statement has never been true. As far as what happened to babies before the statement, the answer is the same thing that happens to them now. There is the Truth of God that never changes. The Catholic Church has spent the last 2000 years trying to define that truth. Limbo was a false assumption (failed hypothesis) that never emcompassed that truth. There are doctrines that Catholics hold ARE part of that truth (like Christ being fully God and fully man) and doctrines that Catholics hold MIGHT be part of that truth. Limbo has always been the latter, never the former.
Anyway, thanks for the comic.
I also created this argument some time ago and was happy to discover that it is somewhat known. The comic version is just for extra kicks! 😀
Jhm, I appreciate the kind words, and that you can enjoy a bit of humor even if it plays on something contrary to your religious beliefs. Thanks!
This is the most fucked up thingy i’ve ever seen
fuck whoever made this.!
Aw, thanks Jenny!
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Oh the travails of the Catholic church:
“There is the Truth of God that never changes. The Catholic Church has spent the last 2000 years trying to define that truth.”
No wonder. Usually, standard T-schemas will do, but “the Truth of God that never changes” isn’t even a sentence. Seems like a silly thing to spend your time on, though.
This is great stuff!